Barack Obama White House Press Releases BarackObamaWhitehouse.us Contact: Administrator@barackobamawhitehouse PRESS RELEASE 21 April 2009: A smiling pirate achieved his dream in America today.   Abduhl Wal-i-Musi walked into 26 Federal Plaza N.Y.C., flashing a grin to reporters and exclaiming “I always wanted to come to the United States.”  Abduhl is the lone survivor of the four sea terrorists who pirated the American ship Alabama and held it’s Captain for ransom.  “What a wonderful nation of cursed Infidels is America,” exclaimed Wal-i-Musi.  “The President look like me.  I go to trial.  I get short time in jail.  I become American citizen.  I get government job.  I write pirate adventure book.  I become movie star.  I get lots of Progressive, loose, Infidel women.  I go into politics.  I become President.  Allah bless America.” (Click Photo right for Larger Image)   WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE 14 April 2009:  President Obama has declared that the term “piracy” will no longer be used when referring to kidnapping people and ships on the high seas, unless those involved are of European background.  All others will be referred to as “Third World Islamo Buccaneers,” or TWIBs.  TWIBs will be considered freelance members of The Department of Homeland Security and be eligible for U.S. citizenship.  Additionally, President Obama (Secret Service code name: “Elmer Fudd”) has declared the term “Ransom” to be obsolete.  Passing of money to the Islamo Buccanners for release of people and ships, will hereafter be referred to as “paying TWIBute.” WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE 12 April 2009: As Americans pray for the safe release of Captain Richard Phillips of the pirated United States ship Alabama, Americans have wondered as to the disappearance of their beloved action oriented President, Barack Hussein Obama. It can now be revealed that rumors of his participation in a days long Whitehouse Pizza party extravaganza were a ruse, while Obama carefully formulated a plan of action. “Designing a strategy for making the world safe for sea commerce was a delicate operation.  These Somali pirates just might be relatives of mine and I didn’t want to see them hurt,” said our compassionate President.  “So we’ll only hurt them if it will help me politically.”  “As the ‘President of Change’ I directed the State Department to float a host of compromise settlements.  We offered the Somali Pirates American citizenship with home ownership at some very favorable sub-prime mortgage rates, but ACORN and Barney Frank disapproved.  We offered to put them on the Board of Directors of General Motors.  But my Secretary of Treasury Tim Geithner and the United Auto Workers were against that, since the pirates wanted to return the bailout money and begin production of pirate boats rather than automobiles.” “My preferred choice is to infiltrate the pirates, become their Captain and continue plunder on the high seas.  My own cut will be dedicated to paying for Michelle’s wardrobe, buying $100 per pound steaks imported from Japan for my Wednesday night Whitehouse parties and purchasing an electrical generating windmill to electrify the doghouse for the pooch I’ve been forced to get in order to shut up my kids.”       President Barack Obama Infiltrates Somali Pirates to Save American Captain and Make Seas Safe for U.S. Vessels Click Photo for Larger Image FULL PRESS RELEASES Home Page / Obama’s Muslim Adventure / Gives Submissive Bow Job to Saudi King Obama Eliminates Terrorism  / Piracy on High Seas / Right Wing Militias / Peace & Love / / The American Economy / Community Sacrifice / Saving Energy & Planet / Supreme Court and the Law / / Obama’s Muslim Adventure Part Deux / Government Medical Care / Foreign Policy / / Remaking America / Racial Reconciliation / Text and Graphics Copyright: Michael G. Leventhal - BarackObamaWhitehouse.us