Barack Obama's Foreign Policy Page

Barack Obama White House Press Releases BarackObamaWhitehouse.us Contact: Administrator@barackobamawhitehouse OBAMA TO TROOPS: “BEND OVER AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.” December 1, 2009: “I’m really glad to have the opportunity of speaking with you future Infidel exploiters of the Muslim world, here at West Point tonight. This will be another of my great photo-ops. I think I’ll call this one ‘Bend over, close your eyes and get ready for a big surprise.’ People think I’ve lost my touch, but now you’ll see why I’m such a great Commander in Chief. Anyone else in my position would either give my chosen warrior General McChrystal the original 60,000 troops he requested, his 40,000 minimum, or just walked away from the whole thing and hunkered down for the next terrorist attack on America. But I went into the White House basement and spoke to my friend Osama Bin Ladin for advice. Like me, he rose from nowhere to become a really important guy. For the last few years, Bennie as I like to call him has been in the White House Basement, hooked up to a kidney dialysis machine and watching Al Jazeera on cable T.V. Bennie didn’t like my predecessor, not because he is responsible for all the world’s problems. It’s just that Bush never invited him to any of his Rose Garden, Baby Back Rib, Pig Squealer Barbeques. Now, I’m a different story. Bennie and I have become prayer buddies, five times daily. He really likes the way I bow to him after picking up our prayer rugs. As a matter of fact, we’re planning a reality show together, called "I'm a Sheik and you’re a dope." Our theme song will be ‘Aba Daba Honeymoon,’ although it should really be my theme song to the troops in Afghanistan, because I’m making monkeys out of you all. By sending enough additional troops to look good, but not enough to win, I can then ask Congress to pass a ‘War Tax” and shaft the American people even more than I’ve already done.” BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA WOWS RADICAL MUSLIM LEADERS AT UN September 26, 2009: Your enlightened President made every effort to forge new alliances with some of the most radical leaders in the Muslim world. In attempting to accomplish this, your leader delved into cultural values based on his early training as a Muslim. One of these involved respectfully entering Libyan President Gadhafi’s tent, making a deep curtsy and asking to become his love slave. Gadhafi, obviously taken by Obama’s knowledge of Bedouin ways, smiled, but waived President Obama away on grounds of his having small bosoms. Undaunted The Obama returned to the United Nations, conducting a fully veiled make-out session with Iran’s Mahmud Ahmadinejad on the podium of the General Assembly. He submissively requested to fondle one of Ahmadinejad’s holy nukes, but was refused when the Iranian President adamantly claimed not to have any. OBAMA BIG HIT IN THE UNITED NATIONS September 23, 2009: “My fellow Third Worlders. I’m proud to be here as the opening act for Libyan ruler Momar Quadaffi. I understand that he will call me his Son and rightly proclaim that I should be President for all eternity. In keeping with new White House Protocol, I will begin by denigrating America. America stinks. It really stinks. It stinks so much that I spend most of my time sitting on the White House toilet rather than looking out at any Americans who are not welfare recipients or illegal. The United States is no different than any other country in values or accomplishments, other than it has caused most of the world's problems. It’s caused world poverty, natural climate change and the shortage of goat cheese. It has supported those Jew Infidels in Palestine who have oppressed my Muslim brothers and sisters. They’re worse than dogs, or even western women. So I’m here today to state that America is going global. We are no longer a superpower. As a matter of fact, my agents in congress plan on changing the name of our accursed Infidel state to ‘The United States of Worthless’. Old habits are gone. We will not attempt to stop any terrorist sponsoring state from going nuclear. As a matter of fact, I’ve instructed America’s military to transfer all nuclear weapons and nuclear technology to places like Iran and Venezuela. They are more responsible than the accursed Great Satan that I have the misfortune to lead. In conclusion, I’ve instructed my Democrat controlled Congress to declare war on Little Satan Israel. Within one week, we will be redeploying our military forces in Iraq and Afghanistan for an invasion that will expel the Zionist occupiers from Palestine and allow Hamas and Hezballah to set up a Muslim Caliphate. All I ask is that you all love me and agree that I’m the greatest thing for the world since Camel Dung Pizza.” BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA SAVES WORLD AT G8 EUROPEAN SUMMIT. TAKES IN EUROPEAN ART. LECTURES POPE. GOES TO AFRICA AND PROMISES THEM AMERICAN MONEY 10-11 July 2009: President Of the World, Barack Hussein Obama, Blessed Be His Name, ended his whirlwind sellout trip through Europe in pursuit of Change. Proudly proclaiming that he has saved the world from total annihilation, he committed America’s dwindling resources to rescuing the lives of millions in Africa by sending tens of billions in taxpayer dollars to its corrupt, Socialist, governments. Not to be thought of as being an uncultured American, your sophisticated President took a moment away from feeding the world with a fish and loaf of bread by carefully leering at... uh...examining, some contemporary Brazilian art in Italy. (Click Photo at Right Larger Image) President Obama then visited the Vatican for an audience with Pope Benedict XVI. Obama lectured His Holiness on the disastrous effects of global warming CO2 emissions from candles and incense used in Christian religious rituals. “If you became a Muslim like me, you could save the planet.” (Click Photo at Right for Larger Image) Obama’s “Save the World” tour then moved on to Africa, where he told his adoring throngs that he had “African Blood,” and would make Africans rich with American money. MICHELLE OBAMA IMPRESSES EUROPEANS WITH FASHION SENSE July 9, 2009: “While President Barack Hussein Obama was busy being rolled by the Europeans, the multi- faceted fashion sense of Michelle Obama continued to wow Europeans with her penchant for the eclectic. Displaying her Black Liberation consciousness, Michelle walked the streets of London showing off her “Mammy Look” attire, destined to become the newest trend in the Paris fashion houses for 2010. But your First Lady has another side in this period of high unemployment and belt tightening back home. Outside of the Gorki residence in Moscow, Michelle attempted to elevate spirits of unemployed women back home, by displaying her $5,950.00 VBH alligator clutch purse. ‘Poverty is for the little people, but I really do love them all,” Michelle quipped as she spat upon one of the adoring Administrative Attendants accompanying her on the Obama’s worldwide whirl.” (Click Photos at Right for Larger Images) BARACK OBAMA CELEBRATES JULY 4TH WEEKEND IN MOSCOW July 4, 2009: “It’s really great to be celebrating America’s July 4th weekend in Moscow. I don’t have to make speeches about old dead white men like George Washington, Michelle and I get a trip on the taxpayer’s dime and we can pay tribute to where a ‘true’ revolution took place. I could never say that in America, although we’re changing things as quickly as possible. Not only that, but most of the American media is so in bed with me that I can run America down as much as I want and they’ll clean things up for publication. The New York Times is in my pocket so deep that they’re planning a name change to ‘The New York Pravda.’ I’m going to love speaking with Putin and the others about how we can restore the Russian empire. They can have Ukraine, Poland, and the rest of Eastern Europe. All they have to do is say nice things about me, like how I’m an enlightened leader of change. Boy, can my national media run with that. And I won’t go away empty handed. The Russian leadership are all a bunch of former KBG from the old Communist Secret Police. They can teach me better ways to silence my critics, or even make them disappear permanently. If they do that, I’ll even promise not to deploy the missile defense system developed under George Bush. That will really wow Putin. Maybe he’ll make me an honorary Czar. Vladimir will really like Michelle. Let’s face it. She doesn’t dress in the best of taste, although my state controlled media never lets up about her being a fashion plate. Once Russian women see how crappy expensive American clothing can look, they’ll stop pestering the Russian government about improving their own standard of living. My new buddies will love me for that also. (Click Photo to Right for Larger Image) I’ll enjoy cutting deals with Communists gone gangster. They’re just like the crowd I brought to Washington.” Obama Revises American Foreign Policy. Dumping Traditional Allies & Making New Friends Click Photo for Larger Image FULL PRESS RELEASES