Barack Obama White House Press Releases
OBAMA TO TROOPS: “BEND OVER AND CLOSE YOUR EYES.” December 1, 2009: “I’m really
glad to have the opportunity of speaking with you future Infidel exploiters of the Muslim world, here at
West Point tonight. This will be another of my great photo-ops. I think I’ll call this one ‘Bend over,
close your eyes and get ready for a big surprise.’
People think I’ve lost my touch, but now you’ll see why I’m such a great Commander in Chief. Anyone
else in my position would either give my chosen warrior General McChrystal the original 60,000 troops
he requested, his 40,000 minimum, or just walked away from the whole thing and hunkered down for
the next terrorist attack on America.
But I went into the White House basement and spoke to my friend Osama Bin Ladin for advice. Like
me, he rose from nowhere to become a really important guy. For the last few years, Bennie as I like to
call him has been in the White House Basement, hooked up to a kidney dialysis machine and watching
Al Jazeera on cable T.V.
Bennie didn’t like my predecessor, not because he is responsible for all the world’s problems. It’s just
that Bush never invited him to any of his Rose Garden, Baby Back Rib, Pig Squealer Barbeques.
Now, I’m a different story. Bennie and I have become prayer buddies, five times daily. He really likes
the way I bow to him after picking up our prayer rugs. As a matter of fact, we’re planning a reality
show together, called "I'm a Sheik and you’re a dope." Our theme song will be ‘Aba Daba Honeymoon,’
although it should really be my theme song to the troops in Afghanistan, because I’m making monkeys
out of you all.
By sending enough additional troops to look good, but not enough to win, I can then ask Congress to
pass a ‘War Tax” and shaft the American people even more than I’ve already done.”
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA WOWS RADICAL MUSLIM LEADERS AT UN September 26, 2009:
Your enlightened President made every effort to forge new alliances with some of the most radical
leaders in the Muslim world. In attempting to accomplish this, your leader delved into cultural values
based on his early training as a Muslim.
One of these involved respectfully entering Libyan President Gadhafi’s tent, making a deep curtsy and
asking to become his love slave. Gadhafi, obviously taken by Obama’s knowledge of Bedouin ways,
smiled, but waived President Obama away on grounds of his having small bosoms.
Undaunted The Obama returned to the United Nations, conducting a fully veiled make-out session with
Iran’s Mahmud Ahmadinejad on the podium of the General Assembly. He submissively requested to
fondle one of Ahmadinejad’s holy nukes, but was refused when the Iranian President adamantly
claimed not to have any.
OBAMA BIG HIT IN THE UNITED NATIONS September 23, 2009: “My fellow Third Worlders. I’m
proud to be here as the opening act for Libyan ruler Momar Quadaffi. I understand that he will call me
his Son and rightly proclaim that I should be President for all eternity.
In keeping with new White House Protocol, I will begin by denigrating America. America stinks. It
really stinks. It stinks so much that I spend most of my time sitting on the White House toilet rather
than looking out at any Americans who are not welfare recipients or illegal.
The United States is no different than any other country in values or accomplishments, other than it
has caused most of the world's problems. It’s caused world poverty, natural climate change and the
shortage of goat cheese. It has supported those Jew Infidels in Palestine who have oppressed my
Muslim brothers and sisters. They’re worse than dogs, or even western women.
So I’m here today to state that America is going global. We are no longer a superpower. As a matter
of fact, my agents in congress plan on changing the name of our accursed Infidel state to ‘The United
States of Worthless’. Old habits are gone. We will not attempt to stop any terrorist sponsoring state
from going nuclear. As a matter of fact, I’ve instructed America’s military to transfer all nuclear
weapons and nuclear technology to places like Iran and Venezuela. They are more responsible than
the accursed Great Satan that I have the misfortune to lead.
In conclusion, I’ve instructed my Democrat controlled Congress to declare war on Little Satan Israel.
Within one week, we will be redeploying our military forces in Iraq and Afghanistan for an invasion that
will expel the Zionist occupiers from Palestine and allow Hamas and Hezballah to set up a Muslim
Caliphate. All I ask is that you all love me and agree that I’m the greatest thing for the world since
Camel Dung Pizza.”
BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA SAVES WORLD AT G8 EUROPEAN SUMMIT. TAKES IN
EUROPEAN ART. LECTURES POPE. GOES TO AFRICA AND PROMISES THEM AMERICAN
MONEY 10-11 July 2009:
President Of the World, Barack Hussein Obama, Blessed Be His Name, ended his whirlwind sellout
trip through Europe in pursuit of Change.
Proudly proclaiming that he has saved the world from total annihilation, he committed
America’s dwindling resources to rescuing the lives of millions in Africa by sending
tens of billions in taxpayer dollars to its corrupt, Socialist, governments.
Not to be thought of as being an uncultured American, your sophisticated President
took a moment away from feeding the world with a fish and loaf of bread by carefully
leering at... uh...examining, some contemporary Brazilian art in Italy. (Click Photo at
Right Larger Image)
President Obama then visited the Vatican for an audience with Pope Benedict XVI.
Obama lectured His Holiness on the disastrous effects of global warming CO2
emissions from candles and incense used in Christian religious rituals. “If you became a Muslim like
me, you could save the planet.” (Click Photo at Right for Larger Image)
Obama’s “Save the World” tour then moved on to Africa, where he told his adoring throngs that he had
“African Blood,” and would make Africans rich with American money.
MICHELLE OBAMA IMPRESSES EUROPEANS WITH FASHION SENSE July 9, 2009: “While
President Barack Hussein Obama was busy being rolled by the Europeans, the multi-
faceted fashion sense of Michelle Obama continued to wow Europeans with her penchant
for the eclectic.
Displaying her Black Liberation consciousness, Michelle walked the streets of London
showing off her “Mammy Look” attire, destined to become the newest trend in the Paris
fashion houses for 2010. But your First Lady has another side in this period of high
unemployment and belt tightening back home.
Outside of the Gorki residence in Moscow, Michelle attempted to elevate spirits of
unemployed women back home, by displaying her $5,950.00 VBH alligator clutch
purse. ‘Poverty is for the little people, but I really do love them all,” Michelle quipped
as she spat upon one of the adoring Administrative Attendants accompanying her on
the Obama’s worldwide whirl.” (Click Photos at Right for Larger Images)
BARACK OBAMA CELEBRATES JULY 4TH WEEKEND IN MOSCOW July 4, 2009: “It’s really great
to be celebrating America’s July 4th weekend in Moscow. I don’t have to make speeches about old
dead white men like George Washington, Michelle and I get a trip on the taxpayer’s dime and we can
pay tribute to where a ‘true’ revolution took place.
I could never say that in America, although we’re changing things as quickly as possible. Not only that,
but most of the American media is so in bed with me that I can run America down as much as I want
and they’ll clean things up for publication. The New York Times is in my pocket so deep that they’re
planning a name change to ‘The New York Pravda.’
I’m going to love speaking with Putin and the others about how we can restore the Russian empire.
They can have Ukraine, Poland, and the rest of Eastern Europe. All they have to do is say nice things
about me, like how I’m an enlightened leader of change. Boy, can my national media run with that.
And I won’t go away empty handed. The Russian leadership are all a bunch of former KBG from the
old Communist Secret Police. They can teach me better ways to silence my critics, or even make
them disappear permanently. If they do that, I’ll even promise not to deploy the missile defense
system developed under George Bush. That will really wow Putin. Maybe he’ll make me an honorary
Vladimir will really like Michelle. Let’s face it. She doesn’t dress in the best of taste,
although my state controlled media never lets up about her being a fashion plate.
Once Russian women see how crappy expensive American clothing can look, they’ll
stop pestering the Russian government about improving their own standard of living.
My new buddies will love me for that also. (Click Photo to Right for Larger Image)
I’ll enjoy cutting deals with Communists gone gangster. They’re just like the crowd I
brought to Washington.”
Obama Revises American
Foreign Policy. Dumping
Traditional Allies &
Making New Friends
Click Photo for Larger Image
FULL PRESS RELEASES
Home Page / Obama’s Muslim Adventure / Gives Submissive Bow Job to Saudi King
Obama Eliminates Terrorism / Piracy on High Seas / Right Wing Militias / Peace & Love /
/ The American Economy / Community Sacrifice / Saving Energy & Planet / Supreme Court and the Law /
/ Obama’s Muslim Adventure Part Deux / Government Medical Care / Foreign Policy /
/ Remaking America / Racial Reconciliation /
Text and Graphics Copyright: Michael G. Leventhal - BarackObamaWhitehouse.us